A Life I Never Knew
by CaptainHookLover
Summary: This is a one shot/preview of future chapters for my Hookriel fic "Love is Forever".


He walks down the streets, not caring if anyone sees him. After finding out that Rumplestilskin was still alive and well, with Belle in his arms, happier than ever, he didn't really care much about anything anymore. Of course he still wanted to kill his nemesis and he would, but he needed a break. He was hauled in from New York by Tamara, who apparently wanted him to help and her and her little boy friend to take the magic from Storybrooke. He wasn't sure how they were going to do that, but she had told him that she has a way to kill magical creatures, as she put it.

Killian didn't know what they were planning, or if he should even get involved with them, but he knew one thing. He had to warn Ariel. She probably wouldn't be too happy to see him, but he needed to warn her anyway. Whatever that Tamara chick was planning, it wasn't going to be pretty. He walked towards her house, which was just across the street from the docks. He paused as he got closer, and saw her out in the front yard, washing that metal carriage that they called cars. She appeared to be washing it, a big yellow sponge filled with soap in her hand. She was smiling, looking as radiant as ever. She turned her head, laughing, as her daughter sprayed her with water from some strange green tube. Her son then came over as well, joining in, followed by her husband Eric. They laughed and splashed water at each other, happy as can be. Killian watched them, entranced.

He suddenly felt a small pain in his chest. He took his good hand and held it over his heart. Immediately, as if on queue, he began to think what his life might have been like if he had just forgotten about getting revenge. If he had just let all of that go, if he had let Milah go, if he had just allowed himself to love Ariel again. Would he have a family like the one she had created with Eric? Would that be enough for him, to just love her again? She had told him so many times that he didn't need revenge that revenge wasn't going to make him happy. And Killian knew deep down that she was right. But he also knew that he couldn't allow himself to love someone again. Not only because he didn't want to run the risk of losing them again, but also that he didn't deserve happiness. Not after what he had become, not after all the things he had done. The only thing he thought he deserved was his revenge on Rumplestilskin. Once he accomplished that he would just go off and sail the seas.

He shaked his head, shaking off these thoughts. He then looked back towards Ariel's house. Eric wasn't with them anymore, and the two kids seem to have gone with him as well, since he didn't see them either. Ariel was doing something inside of the car, but he decided this was his chance to go and talk to her. He didn't want Eric seeing him, that wouldn't go well. They had never gotten along, even if they hadn't really spent that much time together. He walked over to where Ariel was. He saw that she was bent over, her back to him, doing something to the floor of the car. Whatever she was doing it was making a lot of noise, but he couldn't help but just stare at her back, his eyebrow rising as he took her in. He involuntarily licked his lower lip. He then heard a firm and very loud "ahem" behind him. He let out a small sigh, knowing exactly who it was.

"Enjoying the view of my wife's ass Hook?" asked Eric, his arms crossed over his chest.

Killian just gave him a smirk, turning over to face him. "Well you know just as well as I do that she has a very nice ass, your majesty" he said, giving him a mock bow. He didn't like how he had said "my wife" however, though he didn't want to admit it. It just served as a painful reminder that Ariel belonged to another man now.

"What are you doing here?" he asked annoyed. "I thought you were supposed to be in New York?"

"Well I managed to find my way back" he said.

"Eric" he heard Ariel say, turning off that machine that was making all the noise. "Eric have you-" she began to say as she turned around, but as soon as she saw Killian standing just a few feet from her, she just stood there frozen. Killian waited patiently, expecting her to overreact, probably punch his face in a fit of rage. But instead, to his surprise, she just rushed towards him, putting her arms around him and holding him tight in a strong embrace.

"Killian I am so glad you're all right. I've been so worried, when I found out you were left in New York I thought…." She cut herself abruptly, as if realizing what she was saying. She stepped back, shaking her head slightly. "I mean, what the hell are you doing here?" she asked, firmly.

"I uh… I need to talk to you" he said, looking at her in the eye.

Ariel just stared up at him, her eyes shining under the light, sadness and confusion showing through.

"What… what do you need to talk about?" she asked hesitantly.

Killian bit the bottom of his lip, and turned around slightly to look over at Eric. He then turned back to Ariel and said "I would rather do this in private if that's all right."

Ariel opened up her mouth to respond when she heard her daughter's voice calling out to her. "Mom I think the chicken might be burning!"

"Shit" said Ariel, starting to walk towards the house. "I'll be right back" she says, as she goes to the door. Killian watches her leave, attending to her daughter. She's a cute little thing, he thinks, about twelve years old. Looks just like Eric he notices, with the night black hair and big blue eyes.

"You know Killian if you're here to try and convince Ariel that you've changed and that you want a second chance, I suggest you leave" Eric said firmly behind him. Killian rolled his eyes as he turned to face Eric. "She's been through enough already, she doesn't need you coming into her life again and ruining everything."

"I'm not here to mess anything up. Ariel has moved on and so I have I. I am here to warn you" he said.

"Warn us? About what?" asked Ariel, a concerned look on her face. She walked over to Eric and stood by him, their hands finding each other and intertwining together. Killian looked down at their hands, and he felt his heart break a little more. Just more painful reminders he thought. But no, he had no right to feel this way. She finally found her happy ending; he couldn't ruin it, not again.

"Well you know those two strangers that came into town? The idiot who hit me with his car?" he said.

"Greg Mendell? And Tamara, is that the other person you mean?" she asked. "What about them? Are they together? Ever since Tamara came to town I've barely seen her with Neal."

"Well ummm Tamara brought me here from New York and she and ah Greg offered me a job. They told me if I helped them then they would help me with my crocodile problem. I am not sure what they are planning on doing, but they want to somehow take the magic from Storybrooke. I'm afraid it isn't safe here anymore. I just wanted to let you know."

"Hang on" said Eric, holding up a hand to stop Killian from leaving. "If they told you they had a way for you to kill your precious crocodile then why the hell are you warning us about their plans? Doesn't that mean that you won't get their help?"

"Despite what you may think" he said a bit harshly, "I actually care about what happens to you" he said, looking directly at Ariel as he said this. "I care about your family, I just want to make sure you stay safe, that's all. As for the crocodile, I don't need their help; I can take care of it on my own."

"Thank you Killian. I-We appreciate it" Ariel said. Eric noticed the way they looked at each other, neither one of them breaking eye contact, neither one breaking the connection, that connection that they still inevitably had. Eric knew that Ariel still had feelings for Killian, even if she didn't want to admit it to herself. But it was painfully obvious in the way that she looked at him, the way she always looked at him, with sadness and longing, with fear and hope. What surprised Eric was the way that Killian looked at Ariel. He too seemed to have a certain longing and desire in his eyes, but it wasn't just lust he noticed, it was pain and hurt. The look you get when you want something that you can't have.

Eric broke the silence as he cleared his throat, Ariel immediately breaking eye contact and looking over at Eric. "Thank you" he said, putting out his hand to Killian. Killian shook his hand, albeit hesitantly, but he still did it.

"Well I better be going then" he said, slightly nodding at the two of them and turning to walk away.

"Killian wait" he heard Ariel say. He turned around and then saw Ariel standing in front of him. "Yo-you must be starving, why don't you come in and have lunch with us?"

"No that's all right. I-uh I can tell when I'm not welcome" he said, slightly nodding at Eric.

"Killian please….. I- I want you to stay. Please" she said, her voice breaking a bit.

Killian just gave her a small smile and agreed.

"Great come on" she said, her face lighting up with happiness. "Come along Eric" she said, taking Killian by the arm and slightly pulling him to the house.

Once they were inside Ariel quickly called out to her kids. Once they came in from the kitchen, they stood in front of them, waiting patiently to see why their mother had called them in. "Kids this is… this is my friend Killian. Killian this is our daughter Melody and our son Edward. "

"Pleasure to meet you, Killian Jones" he said, bowing down to them.

Melody giggled, giving him a curtsey. Edward bowed at him as well and then said "So you're Captain Hook?"

Killian chuckled and said "Aye that would be me."

"Wow I can't believe I am meeting the real Captain Hook! This is just awesome! Wow what's it like being a pirate? How fast can the Jolly Roger go? What is the most exciting place you've ever been too?"

"Ok Eddie, calm down. You'll have to excuse him Killian he's uh quite a fan as you can see" Ariel said giggling.

"That's quite all right" Killian said, smiling at the little one.

"All right guys come on we're going to eat lunch, you can ask Killian your questions after lunch" she said, smiling at her son.

After they had lunch, Killian and the kids sat on the couch, the two of them entranced by Hook's stories of Neverland , Peter and the Lost Boys.

Ariel and Eric did the dishes, Ariel cleaning them and Eric drying them up and putting them away.

"You know maybe, maybe we can help him" said Ariel, still looking at Killian with her kids. He looked genuinely happy, telling the children stories. And he also listened intently when one of them asked him questions, or when they told him stories of their own.

"What?" asked Eric.

"Killian I mean. I mean maybe we can help him move on, forget about getting his revenge."

"Ariel" he began, putting the plate he had on his hand down on the counter. "You told me that when you two were in Neverland, you tried to help him, and you realized that he was beyond saving. So you left, and you moved on. Why go back down that road again?"

"Because when I was in Neverland I wasn't myself" she snapped at him. "Look Eric I know you don't trust him, I get it, but I've known him longer than anyone. I know him, all of him. We have a chance here Eric, a chance to show him that he still has something left to live for, a chance to show him that he can still find happiness."

"Happiness with who Ariel? With you?" he asked sternly.

Ariel was taken aback by this question. Did she want to help Killian so she could get him back? So she could be with him again? No, she didn't have any feelings anymore for him, she had moved on. She loved Eric, she had her family. "No of course not" she said, turning back to the dishes in the sink. "I just….. I feel like I need to help him. As a friend."

Eric let out a small sigh and then turned over to see Killian with his kids. "He does seem to get along well with the kids."

Ariel gave him a big smile and placed a kiss on his lips. "Thank you" she said, returning to the rest of the dishes.

Once they were done with the dishes they walked over to the family room and sat on the couch with Killian and the kids. Killian said that he should be leaving, but Edward and Melody insisted that he stay with them. So they played some board games, Killian really getting into it. They also played a game of charades, and though it took some time for Killian to get used to the game, once he got a hang of it he was very good at guessing, especially when it was Ariel's turn. He could read her so easily, after all he knew her like the back of his own hand. They spent all afternoon just talking and playing games. Killian found that he was actually really enjoying himself. He enjoyed spending time with Ariel and her family, even Eric. For the first time in a very long time he felt like he belonged. He could see how close Ariel and her family where and he thought how nice it must be to have a family, to have people who truly cared about you, who would do anything for you. In a way he kind of had that with Ariel, so very long ago. But after Ariel, and after Milah, the closest thing he had to a family was his crew. And he loved his crew, but he hadn't even seen them in so long, the curse separated them. The only person he had seen was Mr. Smee. But being with Ariel gave him a glimpse of what his life might have been like, had he chosen a different path. It showed him the life he would never have, but had always, deep down, wanted.

Once they were done they said their goodbyes, and Killian headed back to his ship.

"Mom you never told us you were friends with Captain Hook!" said Melody excitedly.

"Well I guess it must have slipped my mind" she said, a bit sadly.

"He was awesome! Can we invite him over again? I want to learn how to sword fight" said Edward, moving his hands as he was pretending to hold a sword.

"But I thought I taught you how to sword fight already Eddie" said Eric, a bit surprised.  
"You did dad but I want to learn from a pirate!" said Edward. "And I know you were a sailor and all but you're not a pirate."

Eric just chuckled, tussling his son's hair as he walked by.

Killian had tried to go to sleep, but he was unable to. He just tossed and turned in bed, opening his eyes every few seconds, after he had closed them. It was clear he wasn't going to get any sleep that night. He decided to head over to his desk where he had a bottle of rum. He opened it up and took a swig, sitting down on his desk and putting his feet up. If he wasn't going to sleep, he might as well get drunk.

He just about to take another sip when he heard a knock on his door. He quickly got up, placing a hand on the handle of his sword. It was rather late, and the fact that someone came to see him made Killian very suspicious. He opened up the door to his cabin, and was surprised to find Ariel at his door. Her hand up in a fist, ready to knock on the door again as he swung it open.

"Ariel? What are you doing here love?" he asked her softly, taking his hand away from his sword and moving to the side, allowing her to come in.

"I-uh… I couldn't really sleep and I thought you might be awake so I just decided to stop by" she said nervously, walking in slowly. He watched her as she went in, noticing her shoulders tense as she saw his bed, the sheets a mess, all over the place from his constant tossing and turning. She turned over to him, looking up at him with sad eyes. He noticed her hands were slightly shaking, as she looked around nervously.

"Ariel what's wrong?" he said, walking over to her, taking her hand in his.

She looked down at their hands, letting out a small breath. "I was fine you know. I was fine. And then you….. you had to show up today and just…."

"Ariel what are you talking about" he said. "Hey, what's wrong?" he placed his hook under her chin and gently raised her head to face him.

She opened her mouth as if to say something, but instead she just leaned in and kissed him passionately, hungrily, desire washing over her. She couldn't take it anymore. She wanted him badly.

Killian was taken aback by this, but he would be a fool not to admit that he wanted her too. It had been so long since he had been with anyone. But he didn't want Ariel because of that, he wanted her because the truth was he still loved her. He always had, even if he wouldn't admit it. But he knew that he didn't deserve her. He knew that he just pull away, and stop this, but he couldn't. She was just too tempting.

She opened her mouth, inviting in his tongue for a pleasant duel. Her hands roamed down his back, and up again to his hair, her fingers toying with his hair. "You know, I like your hair like this, its very sexy" she said, in between kisses.

"Is that so?" he said, smiling at her, pressing his lips to hers once again. Her hands went down to his chest, fingers fumbling at the laces of his vest, ripping them off one by one. She pulled his vest off and then went to work on his shirt, as he tried to take her shirt off. She was wearing a striped sweater and as much as he wanted to just rip the darn thing off, he decided not too. Once his shirt was off she took off her sweater, revealing a black lace bra. Killian looked down at her bra, he thought it was a strange undergarment but liked it better than what they had back in their world. He licked his lips hungrily, as Ariel took his hand and pulled him over to the bed. They continued to kiss as he placed himself on top of her. She helped him take off his pants and then she took of her own. He started to take off his hook, but Ariel placed a hand over his and said "no, leave it."

Killian chuckled and proceeded to placing kisses on her jaw line, down her throat and neck, in between her breast, down her chest and stomach, down to the hem of her underwear. It was black lace, just like her bra. He hovered his hook over the hem, toying with her. He then gently pulled her panties off, proceeding to enter her with his mouth, tasting every inch of her. Ariel let out a small groan, running her fingers through his hair. "Killian" she moaned. He then took his hook and slid it up her chest. Ariel got up slightly and gently took off her bra, tossing it over to the side. Killian took his hook and placed gentle circles over her breasts, before bending down and sucking her nipples. He continued to kiss her then, getting ready to enter her body. She bit his lower lip playfully, letting out a gasp in his mouth as he entered her body. They entered into a rhythmic pace, moving like the waves of the sea. He grabbed her thigh with his hook, moving his good hand up and down her leg.

Once they reached their climax, Killian laid down next to her, turning his head to face her. Ariel smiled at him, placing her hand on his cheek. He smiled at her, taking her hand and kissing the palm softly.

"Ariel I…. I have to tell you something" he began. "I know I shouldn't say this, because…. Well….. I…."

"What is it Killian?" she asked.

"I um…. I still love you Ariel. I always have" he said, swallowing hard, knowing that she wouldn't take his easily. Ariel took her hand away from his, her eyes widening in fear, beginning to tear up.  
"You-you what?" she asked.  
"I still love you Ariel" he said again.

"Since when" she asked.

"Since the day I left you" he said. "I've always loved you Ariel. Even when I was with Milah, I still loved you. Of course with her, I was able to move on, and let you go, but you still had a place in my heart. Once Milah died, she was all I cared about. But when I saw you again in Neverland, those feelings started to come back. But it wasn't until I saw you with Eric and your kids that night at your party, just before the curse hit, it wasn't until then that I realized just how much I still cared about you. I wanted to you back, I wanted to be with you again. But I saw how happy you were with your family, how you had finally gotten your happy ending, I couldn't say anything. And I didn't want to say anything, not even today. I thought that focusing on my revenge against Rumplestilskin would help me forget but it didn't. And now that I come back thinking I finally killed him, I thought maybe there was still a chance for you and me, but … I find out he's still alive. And you don't deserve this Ariel, you already have everything you wanted, I only regret that I could never give you that. I'm sorry. I just wanted you to be happy."

Ariel didn't know what to say… but she knew there was one thing she did need to tell him. "You know Killian, I appreciate the honesty, but….. the problem is I still love you. I always have. But I know that you still love Milah, and I know that you still want revenge. And unless you let both of those things go, we will never have a future. "

"Your future is with Eric, with your family Ariel, not with me" he said. "I only told you this because I needed to let you know, but we can't ever be together. You deserve better, which is what you already have."

"Look don't get me wrong I love my family, I love my kids more than anything in the world. I love Eric….. but not the way I love you. I want you Killian" she said a rather pleading voice.

"Well I'm sorry Ariel, but I can't. I can't give you what you want" he said sadly.

Ariel got up angrily; getting her clothes from the floor and putting them back on. "No you're just being a coward. You can give me what I want Killian because I know you want the same thing, even if you don't want to admit it to yourself. You're just scared allowing yourself to love again, of letting someone in again. You've told yourself so many times that you don't deserve love anymore, that you don't deserve happiness that you actually believe it. Well I don't believe that. Everyone deserves to have their happy ending. That includes you and that includes Rumplestilskin. But if you don't want to allow yourself to have it, then I can't do anything about it, because at the end of the day Killian, the only one that can save you from the darkness is yourself. I can show you the light, I can show you the path, but ultimately you're the one who has to walk down it. "

She walked to the door, opening it up, but before she left, she turned to face him again. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but no words came out from her mouth. Instead she just turned again, and left the room, leaving Killian alone in the darkness.


End file.
